More Modifications to NHL Uniforms on the Horizon

New York - Gary Bettman, Commissioner of the new NHL, has proposed more radical changes to all NHL uniforms. Citing aesthetic preferences, Bettman has sent marketing DVDs to team owners in hopes that they will approve the changes at the upcoming Board of Governors meeting.

At his press conference, Bettman, who would not go into exact details about the modifications, said:

"This is not a revenue-generating initiative. We have tested these new uniforms and they make the players 10% faster than they were in 2005-2006. That is a 2% improvement over what the Reebok jerseys. Not only that, but sweat absolutely cannot be trapped in these uniforms. These are ultra skin tight. And that is why I have cleared my schedule to attend all Detroit Red Wings game this year. I've had my eye on Dominik Hasek for years. I can't wait to see how the uniform flexes when he kicks out for a save."

Twominutes has obtained an exclusive copy of the marketing DVD and has posted it here for you to view. Accoring to an NHL source, the video depicts exactly what an NHL player could do in these uniforms during a live game. The source noted that "this video is accurate. We tested all of the maneuvers you see in it."

Just so we're all on the same page, this was an "Onion" moment for me. Sorry, couldn't help myself.